Rough Draft

        I was at my parent’s house when I heard my IPhone ringtone “Marimba”. I looked down at the caller ID to see a California area code; I was expecting this phone call. I answered “hello” into the phone and a familiar voice was on the other end.  I walked into the laundry room and shut the door behind me, hopped onto the washer machine preparing myself for this long conversation. It was my employer’s daughter calling to lecture me on my work ethic. She rambles on about “you need to work to your full potential we are a small business and can not afford to hire more employees.” I am only half listening, thinking if I give my two weeks now will I be able to collect unemployment? “My mother is paying you very well I was not even getting paid that much when I began as an RN at Saint Anne’s Hospital.” I say under my breath “I find that very hard to believe.” “You will never get a job anywhere else without an education”. Susan said. Those words lingered in my mind for weeks.

I began working at Jessie’s Bakery part time when I was a high school student, focused on going to college and majoring in Early Childhood Education. My dreams were put on hold. I quit the bakery and got married in May, graduated from high school in June, and gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy I had ever laid eyes on two months later.  My dreams of going to college had turned into sleepless nights, endless bottle washing, and changing diapers.

Two months following my fourth wedding anniversary, I filed for divorce. As my soon to be ex husband was moving a large brown cardboard box he said, “I’m sure your car will get repossessed and you will loose your apartment.” At that moment I knew I could never let those things happen. “I don’t think so.” I replied. “How will you raise a child without a job?” He was right, I knew it was time to return to Jessie’s Bakery.

The first year back at the bakery was a happy time, my independence was returned to me, but even then I knew it wouldn’t last. This was not something I wanted to do with the rest of my life. After the first year had passed, I slowly became unhappy. I worked 55- hour workweeks and 12-hour days. I was overworked, underpaid, and not appreciated.  

The months following were rough. My grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My “Avo” Portuguese speaking was tall with broad shoulders. She looked strong and tough and that’s exactly how I would describe her through her battle with cancer. I had spent most afternoons sitting on her couch; we had the best conversations there. “Jessa porque nao vais por escolar?” Avo asked. I told her “eu nao posse.” Avo asked “Porque nao?” I explained to her I couldn’t go back to school because I had to support my son. “Tu podes viver com tues pais.” She replied. I tried to explain to her if I moved back in with my parents I would loose my independence. She called me “teimoza”, stubborn. My grandmother passed away that year.

My view on life changed drastically. Life is too short to settle for doing something that you don’t love. I realized I had an amazing opportunity staring me in the face, thanks to my “Avo” for making me see it. I just wasn’t ready to take that leap until my phone conversation with Susan. It was only then that I was ready to change my life. Her words were hurtful, but they were true.

The following day I visited Bristol Community College where I applied as a full time student for the Spring semester. I later visited my parents to share my excitement. My father said, “I think you should move back home.” At first I was indecisive, still trying to hold onto my independence, but it didn’t take long for me to be convinced it was the best option for me. My mother asked, “What will you be taking in college?” I replied “Nursing”.

My dream had always been to major in Early Childhood Education, but after spending so many afternoons caring for my grandmother, I had a change of heart. My grandmother inspired me to continue my education in more ways then she knew.